Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Unrequited...

He wants her so bad that his entire life centres around her. Or so he thinks. For her, he is a very dear friend. But she can never return his love, on equal terms. He wants to hug her so tight that they be one. That no air pass between them. At times, she suffocates around him. And is too nice and polite to speak her mind.

They sit huddled. Under a thin ice shelter. In blazing sunlight. She feels miserably lonely. He feels lonely too. But just being around her is enough for him. To hang on and hope. She cant bring herself to hurt him. She cant get up and walk. Though a voice inside her head is screaming at her. Asking her to flee. Some day she will.

But why dont they sit at a table and talk. And not pretend. Why cant he confront her with what he truly wants. Why cant she tell him the truth. In honest unabridged terms. And bring his world crashing down. So that he can grow up. So that he can pick up the pieces and move on. Nobody totally moves on. But the process would've atleast begun. And maybe, a semblance of the friendship they used to share can be salvaged.

18 comments:

Parth said...

Because push has to come to shove for it to happen.

Anonymous said...

The feeling you drive is kind of creeping, grating, phantasmagoric, and looks like a nightmare ruling you, where the fantasy land seems to be a far cry, yet the weird end of these relations is that these very seemingly onerous times are the glorious times of the relationship!
So relish the craving for when the yearning is satisfied life gets mundane.
Might sound sadistic but its a way of life...all those ppl who have succeded in holding on wht they cherished are happy people but those who lost due to various reasons have rich memories to cherish and bring a smile any given day:)

Mystique said...

heyy where was the photo in the prev post taken?

Anonymous said...

"Why cant he confront her with what he truly wants"
well... for starters, he knows what she'd say, and doesn't want to hear it.. evasion is the most convenient escapism, no?
moreover, everyone LIKEs being foolishly optimistic sometimes... wonder why...

frissko said...

parth - hmm...maybe...but like anony#2 says, it cud simply be fear of rejection and foolish optimism...

anony#1 - i was not talking about myself, but i've been in a vaguely comparable state some years back (dont know how, but we fortunately managed to more than salage that friendship)...and hmm i've had similar thoughts abt the 'unrequited' state being more poetic...but right now, i'd rather settle for mundane fulfillment any day:)...

mystique - thats in Gharwal Himalayas, near a Glacier called Dokhrani Bhamak (a 3 day trek from Uttarkashi)...

anonymous#2 - hmm...am with you on that...but when i see people like that slowly killing themselves, i so badly want to put some sense into their head...

Subha said...

Avi, that is beautiful!

To really love someone, is to let them go. to let them be free - be who they are. a relationship based on a love that does not exist, has no future. and as for cherished memories-how can one cherish something knowing it was never truly theirs?

Anonymous said...

u have been fooled enough..both of them know it...its a pretence tht the world has assumed :)

anony2

RS said...

Err...totally unrelated, which Tamil movie were you talking about in Parth's blog? Couldn't resist asking... :)

frissko said...

rs - not a tamil movie, tamil series actually...
Cho's 'Sa[raswa]thiyin selvan'...used to come on sunday mornings in DD...was a satire on tamil movies :)...

frissko said...

subha - thanx...but sthing need not have to be yours for u to cherish...sometimes a memory, a past notion, is gud enuf...am not talking abt living in the past...am talking abt taking a peek at the past once in a while and smiling...whether it works or not, i think everybody u're with leaves something behind which is worth something..

anony2 - implicity knowing it and openly acknowledging it/talking abt it are worlds apart...

Trauma Queen said...

wow

this post is beyond awesome - im sure so many ppl can relate to it

"She cant bring herself to hurt him. She cant get up and walk. Though a voice inside her head is screaming at her. Asking her to flee. Some day she will."

alas - too many women i know go through this everyday...

im glad u feel the need to shake some sense into couple who live such a relationsip - but dont u think all couples go through this at some point or the other?? isnt everyone foolishly optimistic in any relationship?

i hate asking myself these questions - i end up getting headaches - but i'm glad u wrote this...

Trauma Queen said...

do read this post: http://o3.indiatimes.com/tejasmalik/archive/2007/07/31/4755161.aspx

frissko said...

trauma - thanx...

"but dont u think all couples go through this at some point or the other?? isnt everyone foolishly optimistic in any relationship?"

hmm...guess so...as long as u get of it with just bruises and your sanity intact, it should be alright i think...

and i read the other post...liked it...loved the 'old hearts and patched sails' parallell in particular...

swami said...

totally unrelated...

usiroda thaan irukkaen.. nee epdi keera.. innum chennai vasi thaana nee? illa frisco vandhutiya?

Priya said...

Hey, in an effort to avoid work i was reading through your old postings and this posting of yours reminded me of a Vikram Seth poem (I don't know if blogger will retain the indentation but look it up online if u want):

Sit, drink your coffee here; your work can wait awhile.
You're twenty-six, and still have some of life ahead.
No need for wit; just talk vacuities, and I'll
Reciprocate in kind, or laugh at you instead.

The world is too opaque, distressing and profound.
This twenty minutes' rendezvous will make my day:
To sit here in the sun, with grackles all around,
Staring with beady eyes, and you two feet away.

-- Vikram Seth

The two have nothing in common but memory is very associative. I'll tell you all about it after i do my Phd.

frissko said...

Priya - I dont hold a PhD, but 'They sit huddled. Under a thin ice shelter. In blazing sunlight' might've reminded you of 'To sit here in the sun, with grackles all around'. So, associative it is :). And i liked this one...

But what's with Vikram Seth and 26? Remember, in his description of John in 'The golden gate', he says 'Twenty-six, Respectable, Single'...

Jar Tirma said...

I am not sure if I understood everything you wanted to convey but I sure do feel the pain. I am sorry but I don’t think
‘It is better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all’

Time is a great healer and surely love can be found again. If you have lost something it only means that you were never destined to have it. Life takes things away only because it has better ones stored for you.

- Gee that does not sound like me 

Keep writing dude. Binu referred me to you post, to say the least I loved reading it.

Chitty Cat said...

read this post again - still so intense

i feel a headache coming...

oh i forgot! i have stopped thinking - so no more headaches thank you

:)