Sunday, January 22, 2006

Parallell realities...

When someone spells out the same thoughts that you thought, it has an endearing effect. I've never felt the need to
sympathise with autistic kids or mentally underdeveloped people. They do not belong to the realm that we perceive as
real, normal and fully functional. They have their own realities. But then, we do not belong there. So we're even. At times, i even
envy them (but quickly reason out thinking their worlds would have problems too). Anu (Shabana Azmi) in a scene in '15 Park
avenue' questions our right to try and get these people back to our perceived reality. Meethi's (Konkona Sen) psychiatrist offers
a logical explanation for that, but logic is never convincing enough on such issues. That scene struck a chord, and after that i got into a state
where i could find nothing wrong with the movie (rightly, or not rightly, so). It was an intriguing movie...some strings were let loose, and
the incompleteness added to the beauty...well, it wasnt incomplete in the real person gets a closure and the rest begin
their search for something that doesnt exist...
quite a few in the theatre were laughing out for the wrong scenes...i cudnt relate to that...they wouldnt relate to my perception of the
movie...not that it matters...nor wat i think about them matters...parallell realities...subjective....

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Happy? New year

It is a little late in the day. It is all manufactured anyways, so whats the big deal...for whatever it is worth
new year wishes to anyone who drops by...
New year eves were so much fun back in Trichy, when i was a school kid...Dad was this social butterfly...
some 7-8 neighbouring families would get together at my home (ofcourse i chipped in for the PR work, but Dad
was the prime mover)...there were quite a few kids who were kindof peers, and we managed to have some real
good fun.
Back then festivals were fun as of the first things i used to do every Jan was to check how
far away Diwali was. During Diwali, we had this undeclared contest in our street for bursting the 1st cracker of the day.
Almost every time, it was won buy this school senior of mine called Jayashree, who lived in the last house in our street.
Her standard cracker-time was 2:30 am...cant beat that. I never made a real effort to win it, but even i used to be up by
3:30 or so. During the day, everyone went around everyone else's houses eating free sweets (we had to offer sthing different,
dad was an out-of-the box we would give visiters salted-boiled peanuts...and that would be such a relief for the
sweet-weary tongues).
And Pongal (Shankranthi) meant getting up early to walk the streets of Bhelpur (the colony where i lived) to have a look at the
rangolis (entries for Bhelpur's rangoli contest, we never won it). There would be this colony-wide competetions. Mom used to
sing (and some of use used to cheer for her, she was good, and won it a couple of times)...Dad used to sing too (and i would
be embarassed...he wasnt particularly good, but was a good sport)...and at times Sis used to sing too (she was good). I was
never anything more than an onlooker, except the one time when i came 2nd in the musical chairs contest:)...
Coming back to now...festivals have ceased to matter...sometimes it is good to be part of a whole, to celebrate when everyone
else celebrates, and not question it or reason it out...except that i cant get myself to do times i envy people who have
managed to retain the idea of festivals and celebrations...ppl who, on Diwali day, get up early, bathe, wear new clothes, and pray
and eat together. I am not sure if i can ever be that again.
It is not just about festivals. As a kid, i used to go to this temple in our colony daily, and it felt good. Even in college i used to
go to our college-temple almost daily. Now, i think of God as man's creation, as a replica of some kindof external conscience. So
prayer and God have ceased to appeal to me. I dont find it reasonable to go to a temple or pray or do anything that involves delegating
your problem to someone besides yourself. This is surely the right way to live, but this has taken away a pseudo-crutch that i could've
used at times.
Like that guy in 'Matrix' says, sometimes, ignorance is bliss.
Sadly, the path from ignorance to realization is one-way.