Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Muted

I think i've run out of conversation. These days, when i meet/talk to people, i simply wait for them to come up with something for me to respond to. If
they dont say anything, an awkward silence follows. At times i resort to some polite conversation and keep searching for a way to end
it and flee. The only exceptions are a few really close friends with whom there is no need to 'think' of what to say next, there's so much common
ground available. And ofcourse, there are the group-timepass-talk sessions which are fairly effortless. Its weird cos i used to be fairly garrulous and an
active 'company' seeker.
 
I think 60 is a very high value for human lifespan. 30 is more like it. Not too short. Not long enough to run out of things to say. But then, we should hit
puberty at 4, have an active partner from 8. Better sense should prevail at around 20, and you separate and spend the last 10 years as a gypsy, and
die an anonymous death in a beautiful place, with your desire to continue living still intact(Ofcourse, there will be serious academices/scientists who
invent, advance technology, for the betterment of people like me). I think that is important..to die when you still want to live. Everything has a shelf-life...
relationships, love, desire for existence, life. Being separated from something/someone when you still want to hold on to it/him/her gives it a profoundness
you can treasure.
 
Back to reality, and i keep away from prospective friends and phony conversations.

14 comments:

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Krish said...

My dear frissko :)

It is not the age that matters boy. You have just stumbled upon a different phase of life.

May be you have set different set of goals for the life and you find it difficult to identify the normal mortals out there :)

It's the lonliness that has caught up on you and may be you started liking it....

It's up to you to decide how to tackle it...

Take care...

Anonymous said...

U r not alone. Upmteen number of people are out there with the same feel :-)

Anonymous said...

Join the party dude....

Anonymous said...

Join the party dude...

Balai said...

life span of 30......an intersting thought to ponder about.

Prerona said...

whats this! 30? then i'll be dead in a few days :(

i wanna live till i'm 100! I'm have great fun!!!

frissko said...

krish - hmm...age does matter..unless u live in a bubble or u're a compulsive optimist, reality and cynicism keep seeping in with age..and about loneliness, point taken...but i do defy my instincts and seek company from time to time; that hasnt changed my general outlook though...

anonymous 1 & 2- it's always good to know that there are ppl drowning alongside:)...care to leave a name?...

balaji - gud to see u back here..saw your sketches...good ones..and yea, with a 30 yr lifespan, for one, formal education would cease to take up 17-18 yrs...

prerona - want to live to be a 100?!!..good for u..with a 30 yr lifespan we wud be planning lives differently..u'd probably be in your 'darling' calcutta and not writing code and rowing boats in Edinburgh(not to undermine that part, just that we'd do things dearer to us)its just conditioning(we are conditioned to think we'd live a 60 or so yrs atleast)..

M... said...

I am with you on that one dude -
Age DOES matter. Whether or not you know it (maybe you want to NOT know it), age DOES change your attitudes and perceptions (And this is from someone who is borderline compulsive optmist). One possible reason is because as you age, there are more life changing events - loss of someone in the family, marriage, parenthood...so yeah, at 24 we are on top of the world and dont see as much as a speed bump in our future...at 30 you are still on top of the world, still going at 100 miles an hour, but its a whole different world!!

That being said, I do not think a shortened lifespan is a solution to this "situation". An inquisitive mind and an active body will always seek for things to look forward to..And inquisitiveness need not necessarily mean the "intellectual" variety. A simple "garden" variety "Wonder how my grandson will do in his third grade story-writing competetion?" is a simple thought that can keep you excited about tomorrow.

. : A : . said...

Sometimes, words are not enough.

Thanks for dropping by my blog and commenting. Look forward to seeing you around.

frissko said...

m - hmm..though a little escapist, what u say makes total sense..we all do need reasons to carry on and keep our spirits alive...and yea, inventive way to let ppl know that your blog is hibernating:) (the pseudo-link part)..

.:A:. - that's a fair take...agreed..but most times conversation is a presage for other things...

sou said...

"I think that is important..to die when you still want to live. " Couldn't agree more!

I turned 24 today and goin by your 30 yr life span... well ... I better get busy living or get busy dying! :P

(came here thru arunwho. Nice blog.)

frissko said...

sou - thanx...and happy b'day..30 or 60, shud'nt we be getting busy living anyways!..

turbo said...

hey frissko ...its good to feel old at the age of 30!!......at 60 its nearly reaching timeout :)

many will sit and think...oh...i cud not do xyz when i was young...:)

if you hit old age at 30 u have some more extra time :)