Sunday, January 17, 2010

...

Relationships are never symmetric. Even the seemingly rosy ones. If A can give up her career for B, B can possibly give up a bottle of unrefrigerated Coca Cola. But that is when you get there. In the run up to getting that equation going, or not going, you'd be, in no particular order, a buffoon, a hero, a wreck, a bore, a sweetheart, a schmuck, among so many other things you can't put a word to. You could do 323 times 47 without needing a calculator, but around the object of your affection your mind would be as functional as a plate full of mashed potatoes. You may not be particularly uninteresting. Even rarely funny in some circles. But suddenly you’d inspire as much interest as an Assamese movie would, at 1:30 pm on DD on a sleepy Sunday afternoon. The trick is in not trying. It is quite ironical actually.

But we can’t let an unnamed relationship be, can we? We want to pick it up and seal it in a bottle. We want to seal it in a bottle, stick a label on it, and give it a name. We can't just be happy with someone here and now. We want a promise of all the tomorrows. Of course this is all rhetorical. Do anthropologists study how and when humans started defining form and structure and rules to something that seems fairly amoebic?

Ok, I think I should stick to drinking vodka and writing gibberish...

In general life updates, i did a month and a half long trip to India at the end of which Buddha showed me the finger and asked me to think for myself. He probably got pissed because i went and met Bahubali at Shrawanabelahola and didn't go to Saranath. It was an awesome trip with a wee bit of travel and some moments that i'd cherish for a long time to come...

Anyways happy 2010 you folks...For me 2009 was fairly lousy, so this year better be good!...

32 comments:

Vasanth said...

Something fishy ....
:-)

frissko said...

Vasanth - No fish, no chicken da...A coffee shop, free internet, and a vetti sunday evening can make one come up with random stuff...

Heathcliffs Girl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Heathcliffs Girl said...

"We want a promise of all the tomorrows:" isnt that a good thing? slightly morbid d way u put it?

Hip Grandma said...

'But we can’t let an unnamed relationship be, can we? We want to pick it up and seal it in a bottle. We want to seal it in a bottle, stick a label on it, and give it a name.'

this is because we want some discipline and accountability.societal norms and rules evolved over time and suffocating tho' they may seem each one of them is a necessary evil.BTW thanks for your input at my blog. I feel puffed up when those of your generation take time out to read my posts.

simhan said...

"We can't just be happy with someone here and now. We want a promise of all the tomorrows"

yes ur rite.

frissko said...

Heathcliffs girl - Something like that surviving for eternity is a good thing. The desire for the promise of someone's tomorrows meddling with the lightness of today isn't. But that's what we all seem to want, and i guess there is no escaping that...

Hip Grandma - I don't deny the things you say. I was being rhetorical. And we're a generation pretending to be busy. We have all the time to read your posts, so keep them coming :)...

Simhan - Dei enna da, naattaamai maari theerpu solra...Hope 'aal is well'...

TIA said...

I agree. My ex and I had a difficult time coming to terms with what our relationship was - we started out as "friends" and then friends with daily calls and dinners + Coffee; but we never got around to calling it a relationship cos we were scared to tag it. And everytime we didn't the void stared at us and scared us.

Anonymous said...

It took us a long time - 4 yrs to define a tag on our relationship but once we did that, we were less miserable and much happier since the expectations became clearer. Ah, and you know us!

Parth said...

Vodka it is! Good luck with this year.

frissko said...

Anony - Hmm...good for you...And i know atleast 3 people who would fit that description...And my hunch is you're a 4th...Do pass on your identity offline for curiosity's sake...

Parth - :)...I hear you...And thanks...

Subha said...

So true...
It is strange how we like to file away every relationship into a nice label, as if uncertainty is more difficult to bear than a boring certainty...and yet, something about giving a structure gives a sense of peace to the mind, so one can then focus on being present...
So much that defies logic in relationships..
Good luck! :)

frissko said...

Subha - "as if uncertainty is more difficult to bear than a boring certainty"

:)...Touche...And yeah, tell me about the loss of logic, reason, and other such things in the realm of sense...

Leo said...

Macchi, didn't understand a word of what you said :) The relationship stuff is always greek and latin anyways, never understand how it works. Coming to the blog, it is good and more decorative with many metaphors which kind of threw me off of the point :(

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

Your out look on life, and relationships in particular, I find riviting. And not in a good way. The relationship between a man and a woman was established at creation. The man is the leader. the woman is the helper to her husband. Men today are extreamly weak in their role. Because of society and the feminist views that continue to swollow our world society is determined to feminize our men and masculinize our women. Ideas like you've posted simply encorage the thought that it is okay to disregard God's roles assigned to us.

frissko said...

Gabrielle - I am an agnostic, so my take on creation is, 'i don't know'. And i don't relate to stereotyping and gender based role assignment. Let's just say we're different people and leave it at it. I do hope that you'd eventually aspire to, and become, more than a 'helper to your husband'.

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

Well I can respect that opinion. But I don't want to be more than the helper of my husband and mother to his children. And thats not to say I'm not going to have other jobs to do or duties to fill or asperations but that will be my primary roll.

Anonymous said...

Gabrielle, I completely agree with you. It is our duty to do things that that we are supposed to do first.Also it is important not to alter nature.

If you try to be agnostic or whatever as Friskko points out without thinking about the consequences, Nature and surroundings will tolerate to an extent..certain extent...After that disaster is waiting to happen particularly if you do something which you are not made for.

Frissko, request you to correct your stand. There is no reason not to do it.
I can give you numerous examples to prove that you are completely wrong. Sorry.

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

Now wait just a minute I think your not understanding me. My beliefs are not based on nature but on God.Please don't mistake what I am saying for what its not. Everyone is entitled to their beliefs that why God gave us free will. You cannot outright tell someone their beliefs are wrong, I mean you can but you shouldn't. I am happier to see some one as agnostic wrather than completely godless. My porpose in life and my asperations already stated stem from a strong belief in God and his will for my life. Now let me explain my asperations farther so you might understand better. My only want in life is to become a woman after God's own heart. I strive to become a person who pleases God by doing what I was greated for. I am a woman I was made to help my husband, to bear his children.
"Then the Lord said 'it is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him'" Genisis 2:18
"An excellant wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. She looks for wool and flax in delight. She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises while it is still night and Gives food to her household and prtions to her maidens. She conciders a field and buys it; from her eaening she plants a vinyard." proverbs31:10-16
You see I want to be this woman. She is happy to serve her family.

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

I meant created not greated sorry

Anonymous said...

Gabrielle, You have said it Perfect. Yes i too mean God when i say Nature. May be I should have used the words God and Nature Interchangeably.
You can even take that God is Nature and Nature is God.

I also agree with another point of yours to an extent that you cannot outright put across your ideas on others.
But when the consequences are too disastrous because of a bad ideas or action, you have to take steps right ? Examples..
Will a parent allow his son or daughter who are in the process of learning to drive a car and who does not have license to drive in crowded roads or high traffic areas ?
Will a father approve a 13 or 14 year old girl getting pregnant just because the teenage girl who got pregnant feels that from her point of view she has done nothing wrong ?
The above are simple examples.

You know, certain things which are done in the name of freedom, "everyone is entitled for their own view" etc challenge the fundamental principles laid down by God, Religions and Nature and deserve to be put in public scrutiny.
They are very dangerous to the society.
Examples
No necessity for a female/male relationship for producing a baby as this could be done artificially.

No necessity that only male and female should engage in a relationship.

No obligation to take care of your aged parents.

I could quote many more
Are these for good ? Are these not against God and Nature. Should we not outright reject them ? and tell those people who support this about the consequences ?

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

You may be agreeing with me but our views are obviously diffrent. You also aren't even speaking on the same point as I am. God and nature are not interchangable because God created and controlls nature not the other way around. And speaking on society and rules and beliefs systems and religion and concequences here is my response; The conciquences came from the fall of human kind.
"To the woman He said:
“I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception;
In pain you shall bring forth children;
Your desire shall be for your husband,
And he shall rule over you.”
17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“ Cursed is the ground for your sake;
In toil you shall eat of it
All the days of your life." Genisis 3:16-17
As for the rest, The examples you've stated are ludacris. They are rediculus and beside the point. Yes decisions we make can be disasterous to us but that is part of our sinful nature we inherited from Adam and Eve. And quite frankly in regard to your first comment we have altered nature, we altered it at the fall. the porpose of our creation was to bring glory to God but because of our sinful hearts we do the opposite. and also partaining to your later comment, you dont try to be agnostic or any other religion or affiliation thereof you either are or you arent. And it's not that they don't carefully concider the conciquences, but that they don't nessicarily have a strong foundation in Christ that will be the base for their decision. And futher more, Yes I follow my dominion mandate given by God and clearly stated in the word but you also have to remember there are acception God does make to fulfill His perfect will.
Now inregard to your most recent comment, Yes steps can be taken but I don't think you fully understand that. you do not "request they change their stance" you peacefully disagree and give a humble explanation to why you disagree and why you believe what you belive. And another in regards to the examples you've given, As far as them being against God because of our sin WE are aganst God, every day we sin against God even in little ways that is why Christ was sent to give his life for us so that we can beforgiven because our sins are paid for. And futhermore you cant expect that believing in God and living the way we are supposed to will make life all rosy and gay. God blesses us with hard times to test our faith. He will never give us an obstacle He wont help us climb!

Anonymous said...

OK Madam. After reading your response, i really could not understand on what you are trying to say finally and got confused completely

So you say that allow them to do mistakes and correct them by requesting them. And i say nip it in the bud. (this is what our ancient sages and gurus says. "Dont even watch bad things. Just crush it"

Don't get me wrong here. I can suggest some good philosophy and how to live life kind of courses conducted based on the sayings and thoughts of ancient sages and maharishis... These are proven based on the highly successful lives these great kings, sages and men have lived and it will also make your thinking more clear and to the point.

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

Well I wont try and explain my point again but I will say this; In your previous comments you said you agreed with me but from your farther exaggeration, you don't know what I am saying and you never did. And to that I'll ad, I find you slightly cowardly for writing anonymously.
finito.

Anonymous said...

Gabrielle, I beg to clarify certain things

I agreed to your first point that God and Nature may be different.

But i beg to differ on your second point, that even if a belief of "someone" is against nature or wrong, one shouldn't outright tell that "someone" that their belief is wrong.
This is the exact reason why the world is going is a wrong direction and We do not call a spade a spade.

You seem to a very intelligent girl. Regarding the issue of you finding me cowardly...it is OK. I just have put across my thoughts. so identity doesn't matter.
By the way i'am from India and deeply into old Indian History and philosophy and respect Women very highly without whom no one can live in this world and who are in every facet of the society.

And I work in field of IT for my living and I help the poorest in my neighborhood

Gabrielle Elizabeth said...

Thank you.
I think I understand what your saying a little better.
I also want to point out that its not nessicarily a matter of respect. But as of now I'm ending my end of this debate.
I respect your beliefs very much. I my self have very little knowledge of Indian history and philosophy.
I'm only a junoir in high school but after graduation I'm going to major in French and minor in psychology

ManDe said...

Unnamed relationshp - Hmm, I get it.

Gosh.. Avi ! Your comments section is turning out to be forum to discuss philosophy & gods !!

Sparsh said...

I really liked your 'about me'.

trauma queen said...

ayyo rama look at the full fight your blogpost created..there was a time ALL my blogposts created blogfights...muhahaha

hmmmm i find this whole "why give it a name" blah a bit cliched if you ask me. it's like someone told me about his gf, and in the same breath said it was one of those "unnamed" relationships. (it left me confused to say the least. 'gf' sounds very 'namey' to me :P)

and I agree with your friend about unnamed sometimes creating a whole lotta stress or in correct terms "taking one another for granted". Imagine if our moms were "unnamed relatives" and decided to konjify other children and not you because of this "unnamed" blah.

PS: I am scared to post comments these days cos the typical reply I get is "ya ya ur married now..things r different" and nothing pisses me off more than that. Things may be different, I certainly am not!

trauma queen said...

this might interest you: kinda similar to what happens when you start naming and assuming things

http://onely.org/2010/03/22/has-being-onely-made-me-clueless/

Nandini said...

thanks for this post. liked it very much.

Anonymous said...

Hey.. Wonderful post.....