Thursday, February 28, 2008

Where i tell you i am this regular average bloke in a roundabout fashion...

When the desire to board a train, any train, ticket in hand, bag on the shoulders, and no destination in mind, overwhelms the need to be engaged in the regular chore of writing code to make data frames travel from point A to point B (which, for most parts, would help random people download porn faster), the reality of having to pay EMI for the concrete piece that i've collected for myself, tilts the scales and decides things for me. How the fuck did i bring this upon myself?

Ok, i am being dramatic. I had said this some time ago. But last year i had taken a month's break. By the 4th week i was itching to write code, fix bugs, attend meetings and all that. I realized, for me, work gave a better illusion of purpose than climbing mountains or wandering. And a notion of being purposeful is important to be happy, no? Anyways, once this big existential question had been addressed, and i knew i'll continue to be overpaid for some time atleast, i decided to give in to the easier of my mom's two long pending requests, the 'Why don't you buy a home' one. That we were ousted from our previous home by the landlord helped too. I now owe HDFC a lot of money. And i own a home some 200 metres from the Thiruvanmiyur beach. Feels scary. Feels nice. I feel secure. I feel bogged down.

Meanwhile Mani has quit his job. Pooja quit her's a while ago. And they are on the road on a Thunderbird, indefinitely. I'll try and enjoy their travels, vicariously. And maybe visit them for weekends once in a while. Yep, thats more like it. Mad work schedules interspersed with short breaks and travels, and a Himalaya darshan for the summer (deciding between Nepal and Sikkim this year). Taking a vacation suits me better than living one i guess...

8 comments:

Supratik said...

:) :) Yes I have realized the same thing - there is this total swing - sometimes big existential questions hit us, and then when I try to follow it for some time I realize i m afterall just an average bloke and habit and monotony (and a somebody told me "inertia") gives me a (partly true, partly false) sense of security.

work in progress said...

hey, sikkim is good.come along, do i?

Shreemoyee said...

You have a beach house, go jogging by the beach.

Sudhanthira said...

O? ok! I didn't know if i even sounded non-agreeable! Try as much i did, i simply could not gel with her writing though it was one of the best styles i have come across. anyway, thanks for letting me know that it stuck a chord. What chord it is, i would sure like to know..;)

Good blog here by the way!! :):)

keep writing

Cheers
Christina

frissko said...

supratik - join the band :)...

wip - why not...20 kilo bag weight and comfortless stay in the cold ok?

shreemoyee - Beach house is a hi-fi sounding term!..i own a flat that has proximity to the beach :)..I find running very boring..jumping into the waters and swimming is more like it (which i do)...

christina - Thanks. And 'Never quite wanting to be' part of a community is as bad as liking the fact that you're part of one and feeling exclusive, no? I can relate to neither... About the chord, i had wondered what someone means when he/she says 'asal tamil'!. And the fixations and prejudices on display there are things i can't connect to (despite finding the style of writing impressive), so found parts of the stuff you wrote relateable.

Sudhanthira said...

"And 'Never quite wanting to be' part of a community is as bad as liking the fact that you're part of one and feeling exclusive, no? I can relate to neither."

Hmmm..Fair enough!! The fact that u can't relate to it.
But isn't that part about belonging to another community and liking it a far-fetched conclusion? I had problems with that exclusivity not because i belong to one and am enjoying it but because belonging to a community based on something as derogatory as caste and enjoying it is extremely gross. Belonging to a caste isn't really the problem. But being concious of it and practising it defintely is, atleast to me.

Cheers
Christina

Trauma Queen said...

ooh i wanna quit my job n go on a road trip with sum hot guy hopefully

only i hope i dont carry along my usual share of allergies n other silly concerns and fears n wot nots

hehehhe

Anonymous said...

got reminded of this movie "darjeeling limited" owen wilson when spoke abt boarding any train with a ticket...ifu happen to see it or have seen it you may understand