Where i tell you i am this regular average bloke in a roundabout fashion...

When the desire to board a train, any train, ticket in hand, bag on the shoulders, and no destination in mind, overwhelms the need to be engaged in the regular chore of writing code to make data frames travel from point A to point B (which, for most parts, would help random people download porn faster), the reality of having to pay EMI for the concrete piece that i've collected for myself, tilts the scales and decides things for me. How the fuck did i bring this upon myself?

Ok, i am being dramatic. I had said this some time ago. But last year i had taken a month's break. By the 4th week i was itching to write code, fix bugs, attend meetings and all that. I realized, for me, work gave a better illusion of purpose than climbing mountains or wandering. And a notion of being purposeful is important to be happy, no? Anyways, once this big existential question had been addressed, and i knew i'll continue to be overpaid for some time atleast, i decided to give in to the easier of my mom's two long pending requests, the 'Why don't you buy a home' one. That we were ousted from our previous home by the landlord helped too. I now owe HDFC a lot of money. And i own a home some 200 metres from the Thiruvanmiyur beach. Feels scary. Feels nice. I feel secure. I feel bogged down.

Meanwhile Mani has quit his job. Pooja quit her's a while ago. And they are on the road on a Thunderbird, indefinitely. I'll try and enjoy their travels, vicariously. And maybe visit them for weekends once in a while. Yep, thats more like it. Mad work schedules interspersed with short breaks and travels, and a Himalaya darshan for the summer (deciding between Nepal and Sikkim this year). Taking a vacation suits me better than living one i guess...

Taare Zameen Par..

I wish Aamir's entry had been less dramatic. And it reminded me of Robin William's entry into the cancer ward in 'Patch Adams'. Calvin's 'Spaceman spiff' avatar must've influenced Ishan's '9 X 3' solution (am glad that scene was there though). And the movie should've probably ended at the point where Ishaan leaves the hostel early on the day of the contest, to take in the scene for his painting, Aamir's voice in the background. Leaving loose ends gives things a beauty mundane completeness doesn't. It is good when movies, like life, end with us wanting more of it. But we did love to see Ishaan win the contest. We did love the look on the kid's face and the lump on our throats when he sees that Aamir has drawn a portrait of him. Who are we kidding! I am glad the movie did not end earlier than it actually did. We want to see it all. We are incorrigible. It was a beautiful movie. Loved it.

About the dog and the deaths of random people...

The dog is no longer there. The white one that used to remain curled up on the landing of the staircase. That takes me up to my work place every day. The dog was a daily sight. A comforting one. What reason, i do not know. I hope it has found a new home. I am not a big fan of dogs. I am not the animal lover kind either. Except that i don't eat them. But this dog had endeared itself to me somehow. Every day i would think of feeding it the Good Day biscuits from the cafeteria i so hate. Never did it. There are so many things i think earnestly but never do. Next time i see that dog, i'll feed it Good day biscuits first thing. It is funny how random beings affect your life. Like the time when 'Monal' died. I was oddly sad. She was Simran's cousin and had come down to try her luck in Tamil films. She had commited suicide. I was coming back from Munnar. With a bunch of friends. And saw posters splashing news of her death at the Dindugal bus stand. And i was hit by this weird sense of grief. As if someone dear was gone. Or the time when Hrishikesh Mukherji died. Atleast i loved his movies. How the mind's strings get pulled to make you feel a certain unexplainable way, i haven't a clue. But i hope the white dog has found a peaceful nook to curl up and sleep...