Saturday, November 18, 2006

How stuff doesn't work.

When you are two timing you are faithful to neither. In work. And in relationships (the non-platonic kind). I am currently in such a predicament, at work. The advantage here is that one can always be an alibi for the other, and you can cool off a little, writing a post at the start of a work day. The downside is, almost always, you're so torn between two opposing forces of deeds to be done, that you freeze and end up doing neither.

Of late, i find the idea of even one timing (now, not work) pretty exerting. Sometimes i feel that having a companion, physical intimacy etc are obscenely overrated. It'll be good to have someone available, a phone call away, a bus ride away, or a loud shout away. Just to keep you from dying of solitude or repressed sexuality. But then, after talking the talk, or doing the deed, or both, the two people have to return back to their respective real lives. There should be no encroachment of personal space beyond that. There shouldnt be a need for realignment or reprioritisation of what you want to do with your life, to accomodate someone else. Once you start doing that, resentment will start setting in. Sooner or later, your urge to live life the way you want to, will overweigh the desire to continue to be with whoever you are with, and the relationship will start dying a slow silent death in the background (or sometimes a noisy quarrelsome death in the foreground). And there is no way that two people will have the same wants out of life. Peope are pretty much like their fingerprints. Unique.

14 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you drunk again??

swami said...

not much into poetry but ur post did remind me of something gibran wrote on marriage - forget the 1st 4 lines. the rest is pretty good

Gibran on Marriage.

Anonymous said...

But "sometimes" two people do end up wanting similar things out of life. And that probably explains why sometimes stuff works..

--g

Prerona said...

controversial. i have wondered - along these lines, and never been able to make up my mind. depends on who the other person is, perhaps? perhaps not.

frissko said...

anonymous - nope...turned into a teetotalist!(for now)...

swami - that was quite good...and yea, dont understand why he had to write the 1st 4 lines...

g - well, if you think so, good for u...

prerona - hmm..i dont know if this can be subjective...guess i'll continue to remain skeptical about this whole circus until proven otherwise...

Parth said...

I think the perspectives change so drastically from person to person on this issue that there really is not much to conclude. I have seen married people wish they were single, single people lamenting that they need a companion, cloyingly sweet couples, seemingly distant couples. Personally, I do agree that private space is critical. It may be something as small as singing loudly in the shower, but that voice and that space and the audience is you. And that rocks.

Balai said...

A very interesting post. Have thoought along the samelines....but cld never come to a conclusive decision. That lil private space....like the mastercard ads....is just priceless.

partly cloudy said...

if only the world were so perfect. my arrangement is roughly like what you put down, but to get that equation going with someone is tough.

Anonymous said...

I completely agree and I seriously think marriage should be an abolished term. Serial monogamous relationships with a true commitment are more meaningful and can be better cherished.
As an aside - marriage is an institution where you make others responsible for your life. And the constitution of India - pronounces divorces as "till death do us apart."
- deepa.

Trauma Queen said...

omg!!!!
FINALLLY someone who thinks like me!
phew..nice to know i'm not as 'weird' as i thought i was!!!

Anonymous said...

its important for two people to have independent lives while sharing one at the same time!

Anonymous said...

//It'll be good to have someone available, a phone call away, a bus ride away, or a loud shout away//
fortunately, you cant eat your cake and still have it! such an arrangement never works out in the long run.

//Sometimes i feel that having a companion, physical intimacy etc are obscenely overrated.//
i am no pro in that arena (i agree its overrated) but i think that it does offer something you cant get from your arrangement and i think its worth the sacrifice you'd do by accommodating and losing a small private space/time.

totally off topic, but its a quote i like for some odd reason:
"Everyone is unique" :)

fyi: not all fingerprints are unique.

-kars

frissko said...

parth - yeah...i tend to agree..

trauma queen - this just means that you're not alone...and not that you're not weird:)...

kars - i dont know da..even i am not sure if i can actually live my life in such fashion..there is some sense of pseudo-morality hardwired which prevents me from doing certain things even if my rational side tells me that there is nothing wrong with it..

Anonymous said...

:-)